We tried counseling and it didn’t work, why would this be any different?

If you've been to traditional couples counseling and it hasn't worked or it made things worse, you are not alone.

I have dear friends and family members who are couples’ counselors and they are some of the best people I know. They usually care so much and counseling “not working” has nothing to do with their intentions or wisdom.

It's not them, it's the approach.

Traditional couples counseling encourages partners to rehash pain and grievances, which grows the pain and grievances.

It puts both spouses on the defensive, which actually blocks intimacy and accountability.

It creates a dynamic where partners try to fix or diagnose each other instead of connecting.

And it makes the therapist the “referee,” which undermines the couple’s own dynamic.

Talking about problems is not the same as restoring connection and many couples leave the counseling couch more beat up and distant than when they came in.

What’s unique about coaching with the Six Intimacy Skills?

• Grounded in concrete actions for the present and a vision for the future, not in past hurts

• Promotes accountability, not blaming

• Focuses not on hashing out problems, but on practicing Intimacy Skills that transform problems into connection and intimacy

• Assumes that one person can initiate and influence change

• And, as Certified Laura Doyle Relationship Coaches, we operate from personal transformation and daily practice of the Skills

https://lauradoyle.org/blog/state-of-marriage/

Why do you only coach women? Doesn’t the man need to change, too?

You’ve probably heard that you both need to be consciously working on the relationship for things to change. That hasn’t been my experience.

Jesus says, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough."

What we're working with is less about changing him and more about changing the way you're relating to him and getting a totally different response from him as a result.

When I was showing up resentful, needy, hurt, and controlling, I hated my marriage.

When I began practicing gratitude, taking responsibility for my happiness, trusting my husband and expressing pure desires, a different man emerged.

A marriage isn’t two separate people acting independently—it’s a shared dance. Each person’s actions shape the dynamic, which then shapes the other person.

Focusing on myself through the Six Intimacy Skills transformed our relationship faster and more effectively than anything I had tried before. And I watch that happen in my clients again and again, like clockwork, when they choose to stop waiting around and instead start the process of change themselves.

What ARE the Six Intimacy Skills?

Self Care

Restore Respect

Relinquish Inappropriate Control

Gratitude

Receive Graciously

Vulnerability

Saving a marriage at rock bottom can’t be this simple… can it? Hundreds of women who’d tried everything say these six skills worked.
Listen to their stories—unfiltered and in their own words—here.